Phase 4 | 4.6.21

Reflections / Draft for Evaluation

1. Initiation

Initially I wanted to study body dysmorphia through my photography, trying to highlight how social media has affected bodily perceptions amongst media users. I experimented with videoing friends describing how they felt they were as opposed to how they felt the public perceived them. I photographed them in ways they were comfortable with, in environments and clothes in which they belonged and then tried to take them out of their comfort zone. As the project developed I decided to move away from body image to trying to capture the psychological reality of my friends. I used mirrors to try to convey the hidden self, to draw the viewer into interpreting what was hidden. I felt that none of these approaches worked completely for my purpose but that each one had a certain merit. In the end I felt I wanted my images to be as stark and naked as I could with a nod to another more personal universe through the use of mirrors but still very much rooted in this universe.

2. Research

Art can interpret and portray facets of human character and emotion that are not visually obvious. The photographer has to be more manipulative to ‘trick’ the subject into revealing these facets. I am drawn to photographers who explore this aspect and my starting point was my book on Diane Arbus, An Aperture Monograph. Diane Arbus embodies as a photographer what I hope to capture in my work. Her images are stark, real and haunting. They are completely posed but in such a naturalistic way that you feel the presence of the people jump out of the photograph at you, refusing to be ignored because they are baring their souls in a completely naked fashion.

I also like to use mirrors as a way to create an ‘Alice in Wonderland’ view of the world, whereby the viewer feels they are glimpsing another parallel world which they have to interpret. My inspiration here is Vivian Maier who was a professional nanny who photographed the streets of Chicago and New York. Her self portraits make use of mirrors, glass and shadow as a means of presenting the photographer. She distorts herself in the convex mirror of a grocery shop or as in Self Portrait, Chicago, June (1976) where she presents herself simply as the shadow she casts across the pavement, her presence and absence simultaneously represented.

3. Methods

I took all my test photos and videos in colour because I wanted the character of the sitter to permeate through their clothes and settings. Then I tried to differentiate the private and public personas of the person through the use of colour and black and white. Colour to represent their public face and black and white to highlight the hidden. Black and white photography adds a mystery and a dimension to images that is missing in colour photography. It can give a dramatic overtone to the mundane and ordinary. I felt it worked better for my purpose to highlight and differentiate between the two outlooks. For my final outcome I have chosen to explore the private persona only and I have used predominantly black and white as my chosen method, experimenting with exposure to try to dramatise or emphasise certain aspects of the photos.

4. Integration

As my project progressed and evolved I tried various techniques to achieve my evolving aims. My initial tests used methods with which I was familiar and should therefore have made the aims easier to achieve but in practice I did not find this. When I tried using filming as a way of informing the still image, I found that they worked better as separate entities rather than a means of informing and defining each other. This led me to concentrate wholly on still imagery as a better route to highlighting an emotion. Because I needed to highlight and dramatise, I chose to work in black and white which gives images an edge and emotive

feel which can be lacking in colour photography. My next quandary was to solve how to capture the reality of the person, so I followed the example of Diane Arbus who interposed clothed and naked sitters almost casually as though each state were equally interchangeable in any setting. For the final piece therefore I photographed my friend naked to see whether this vulnerability would bring me closer to capturing an emotional vulnerability. Finally I incorporated the mirror as a symbol of how we want to hide our true selves from the world and view ourselves only from our own perspective.

5. Planning

As my project was based around using several of my friends to explore my original concept of body dysmorphia, I planned my project around their availability. This essentially required me to use all my techniques and methods with each individual sitter. As my project progressed and I realised that these methods and techniques were not conveying or furthering my aims I changed with my later sittings to experiment more. This meant my earlier sittings became purely test photos and the later sittings were refinements of my aim. It worked well in this regard but it didn’t allow me to revisit my first friends to try out my final techniques on them, so I felt I was left for my final outcome with a narrower range of subject matter.

6. Reflection (100- 200 words)

My reflective practice helped me to clarify what happened in each of my photographic sessions. My reflections are usually just short notes jotted down quickly which I then looked at in the following days to expand and marshall them into a commentary on the sessions. This helped me realise where my outcomes were not meeting my objectives. As I gradually realised this I started to question my original concept and whether I felt it was still relevant. My essential interest is in exploring the ‘true self’ of the sitter through whatever aspect, whether body image or just through as Philippe Halsman did completely relaxing the sitter. Once I established this I was able to consider how I could achieve this and what techniques I wanted to explore in order to achieve it. I have used black and white photography as my method and the techniques of nudity and mirror imagery to document the perception of

naked truth. I am happier with this outcome than my earlier attempts but I feel they are still a ‘far cry’ from Diane Arbus, Delaney Allen or Roger Ballen.

7. Communication and Presentation

I used black and white photography and mirror imagery in my final outcome. This came about through testing initially with colour and film to document perceptions of body image and self. As I progressed through the project my interest and purpose diverged from this to considering the psychological aspects of portraiture. I did not capture through my initial photos the essence of the sitter. As I researched different portraiture photographers I was drawn to those who tried to capture an essence of the person. I have known and admired Diane Arbus and am in awe at how she draws the ‘soul’ from her sitters but I also love how Philippe Halsman can remove background to strip away any type of comfort zone which prevents the person from revealing themselves. Likewise Vivian Maier captures the fleeting glimpses of ourselves we allow the world to see through her prism of mirror imagery. I tried

to draw on all these artists to use their techniques to expose the naked essence of their psyche. I felt black and white methodology worked well for me because emotions are heightened in black and white and it adds a drama to the image. The mirror I liked because reflections we see of ourselves are never what the world sees because images are reversed in a mirror. Overall I still feel I did not fully capture the soul.

8. Looking forward

I feel I had limited success in achieving my desired outcome of capturing the psyche of the individual. Whilst I believe methods and techniques are important as tools to achieve my aim, I also feel I need to find my own way to connect with the sitter and allow them to let me capture their raw essence. This is an area I would like to explore further because I think to be able to achieve this in artificial settings is one of the most powerful skills of a photographer. I should have liked to explore placing my ‘sitters’ in a coastal setting. I believe that Nature, especially water communicates with us on a deeper level than any other environment. Water has the ability to soothe and relax the mind and body and might be a more fruitful way of pursuing my objective. With more time I would retake my images using mirrors or glass in a darkened room highlighting only the face through light exposure.

REFLECTION | PART 3

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